Essays by Ekowa






Where my Man at?

A brief study on Black Men, Black Women and the roles we play.


According to the Bible - From the dust of the ground, the root of mankind, ‘The Adam’ was created.  Male and Female were created in one unit and from that initial unit all mankind was born. Eventually, from the side of the unit the female was removed and separated and called Isha, the remaining part of the unit was called Ish and they were equal opposites. 


“So God created them in his own image: in the image of God created he them, male and female." Gen. 1:27


It is said, ‘As many a preacher has said: Adam's wife was not made from his head to be over him, or his foot as to be beneath him, but from his side to be equal, by his heart, she is bone of his bone’.


“...and the man said: at last! This is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. She is to be called woman [Isha] because she was taken out of man [Ish].' 

Gen. 2:23-25.


Later after the 'fall' of man his mate would be named Chavvah the Hebrew name for the female unit, and she was to be help for her mate, Adam the compliment to him. 

"...and he called his wife Chavvah [Life], because she was the mother of all living." Gen. 3: 20.

The Hebraic name for the 'first' Biblical woman is Chavvah. in Amharic [Ethiopian] it is Hawan, both mean Life, similar to the Hebrew La' Chiam, where Chai mean Life.  This concept of compliment and help-meet is all but excluded in today’s notion of a marriage. We were cattle, the chattel, then liberated and now equal? But, never a compliment. From the Hebraic rendition it was necessary for a man to have help, he had to work the land and provide for a family, he could not do this alone. Two are always better than one. 

Let us look at the word help-meet and find out what it means.  Our concept is that wherever the man does we must help - without question, but is that so?


The Hebrew word for the HELP function is Avar. Ironically the Hebrew word for Meet is also Avar, so in this case her role is doubled.  She is the Avar-Avar.


As does it mean to help?

Chavvah’s character was not just as Avar or protector, aid or helper, but Avar-Avar! 


"A name indicates your intrinsic value."


Her intrinsic value as an Avar-Avar being is multiplied or magnified according to the root of her functional name.   His name for her was LIFE, so that LIFE was to be a Helping-Helper, a Comforting-Comforter, and a Ministering-Minister for the unit.   Chavvah is Life.  A name dictates the future actions of the person named or the prophetic location of the place named, and reveals the intrinsic value of the person, place or thing named.   Chavvah, as life is the Comforter, the Minister, the Helper, the Succor [ Succoth] the booth in which Israel dwelt in the wilderness. 

This goes back to the Hebrew picture of Beth, Bat, Bet - the letter and number meaning, daughter, wife, home, house, two. 




 The original Sukkoth Festival held in the fall was in Egypt as was the place.  Here is another example of a name having value. 

"And Terah lived 70 years, and begat Abram, Nahor and Haran…And Haran died before his Father Terah in the land of his nativity, in Ur of the Chaldees…And Terah took Abram his son and Lot the son of Haran his son’s son (grandson), and Sarai his daughter-in-law, his son Abrams wife; and they went forth with them form Ur of the Chaldees to go into the land of Canaan; and they dwelt there.  And the days of Terah were 205 years; and Terah died in Haran . Gen 11: 26, 31."

Haran or Charan – The name of Abraham’s brother and later the city where Abraham resided and, their father Terah died.  The Hebrew word for Haran used in this case is Chadel – with the English meaning of destitute or more specifically;

"He that forebears, vacant, ceasing, state of the deadness.  It is the word for flabby or inactive."

The Hebrew word for the city Haran is Charown – a burning anger; as in displeasure, fury or wrath, to incite passion, or to be angry. It is also related to the Hebrew word Charah – to be wroth, wrath, anger, blazing up, incensed. 


In the Hebrew Texts - Abram was told earlier to get out of the city and move away from his people.  He did one (move) but not the other (get away from your family) in that he took his time. Eventually, Abram moved away with his immediate family. But, not until his brother and father were dead.   In that time, Abram was inactive. The promises of Yah were delayed and Abram ceased moving toward his destiny, which was to become Abraham, the Father of many Nations.  Abram was in a state of death.  If we are not moving with Yah, we are stepping away from Him, because of his constant creativity and motion.  In Him there is life; outside Him there is death. Subsequently, Haran , Abram’s brother died as did Terah Abram’s father.

The name Haran can mean REST – but obviously not the rest in Yah that was intended, it was his eternal rest - death.  This is a rest outside of Yah, a restless rest. Man's resting [laziness and complacency] leads to disappointments and a delaying of the Divine Promise through procrastination.

'Get out of thy country and from they kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will show you…’ 

Getting back to the main point, a woman, in this case Chavvah, in the same fashion was the helping-helper but, according to the scriptures, she succumbed to the temptation of the adversary and was out of balance of Yah and could not warn her husband of the impending danger posed by the adversary.   She was LIFE being threatened in Paradise 

If you disengage the Comforter then you can wreak havoc in the Garden and that is what happened. The Help-Meet was attacked and her equal opposite was daydreaming, or mesmerized, from that the system of Help-meet was broken down. 

What about the flip side?

By the same token any woman can be over-protective or too much of a Help for their mate, causing the man to become a perpetual children.  This control has crippled fathers, husbands, sons and families just as much as timidity, ignorance and aloofness can.  Yes, we have had to be strong - but sometimes our strength is like iron and if we just sit back SOMETIMES and let our men be men, then we will all be better off.

Some one told me that:


'Black women raise their daughters, but love their sons.'


In those cases the sons are the substitute for the absent or emotionally unavailable spouse.  We do a disservice to the Blackman and to the world that needs his insight by crippling men and making them perpetual 'Mama’s Boys'.  Are we educating our sons to rule the world? Or are we over-nurturing them to be under subjection to the world?

'A Woman can raise a boy, but only a Father can raise a Man!'

Please don’t write me using the phrase ‘I was Mother and Father to my children.’ B___S___!  Impossible! You were wonderful MOTHER put in the position of leadership in your household, but you could never be the Father.  It's like a donut tire the manufacturer gives us as a spare tire for a car. It will run, but it isn’t supposed to be the main tire Sista' Be Serious Alert! 

The March 2003 edition of Newsweek’s cover claims that there are an increasing number of Black women who have turned away from Black men based on economic factors.  Black women are being professionally exalted above Black men.  This is not anything new, this tactic is to divide and conquer, has spanned the last 400 years. Exalt the Black woman and devalue the Blackman.


Sista’s wake up! 


1. What difference does it make if your man is a mailman or a doctor if he treats you like a queen?

2. Why is it necessary to always have a suit on or a degree to be a good man? 

3. When has the measure of a man been based on the size of his wallet?


The only GAP is to understand the system that alienates us from our equal opposite and misunderstanding your designation as the Avar-Avar.


Check this out.

Once consigned to menial work, black women have ascended to the professional-managerial class…Such questions are now being debated because black men and women are, increasingly, following different paths. 

As choreographer Fatima Robinson put it: 

 “I love brothers ... But there is such a gap that I think I may not end up with a black man.” 

"In 1970 the numbers of black males and females in college (though much smaller than they are now) were essentially equivalent. There were only 6 percent more black women than black men enrolled. But in the aftermath of the women’s liberation movement, females of all colors moved into the academy and the professions. In 1970 America ’s college population was predominantly male. Today it is 56 percent female."
What a SAD statement, it boils down to:  I love Brothers …but, I won't end up with a Black man?  Sisters...What has happened? When you do not have YOUR god-given, Equal Opposite by your side then you are a 'ship without a rudder or a sail'. Adrift in a hostile Sea !   Because of the System of White Supremacy that has truly divided the original Adam-unit, sisters are saying; ‘I love Brothers…but?'

But...Your butt won’t bring forth -from your womb -the powerful men and women Yah intended to be on the planet at this time!   Whacha’ looking for, honey? 

The European concept of a successful man! There ain't one - because the European has always tried to imitate your man...the Original Man!  And the European woman is trying to take your place!   Don't believe me?  Look at the new generation of athletes, musicians, singers, executives - who is on their arm?  A European woman! So, what you have been programmed to throw away is the HOT THANG!    So sad…so sad…so sad.  


Another fact is, do we understand the reality that the ones who would be our husbands have been locked away in Prison?  Why are we not protesting that sad detail?  Why are more young Black men going to prison than to college!  Why?   Divide and conquer! Erase and Replace!    Do we want another generation in that situation? We are protesting the War in Iraq , but, not protesting the War against the Black Man!?


The Son's of God


I was talking to a young Black woman who was getting ready to marry a Caucasian man, because as she put it: ‘There were not any ‘good’ black men to be found’.   I asked her what about her sister's finding a ’good’ Blackman.   She said; ‘Well one of my sisters will never get married, because she is not willing to look beyond the black man to the white man’.  I wanted to cry!  Here me now!  You can marry whomever you want, but to deliberately overlook the Black man to marry a White one is insane!

We are circumventing the acrostic poem Proverbs 31…read it and understand this was a Blackman (Solomon), schooled by his Black mother, Bath-Sheba (the House of Sheba/Saba), speaking to us across the centuries about the able or virtuous woman.  The model of this woman was her father and her mother…Yes, we can look at it in the broader sense, but what was Solomon saying to his audience of black people.   That’s how Solomon was writing about Black women!  Just as Fredrick Douglass, John H. Clarke, Dr. Francis-Cress Welsing, and others were writing to us, about us. 

The word for woman, family or house is Beth/Bath as we have discussed earlier, which even in Egyptian is BTY meaning wife or house.  According to some Hebrew and Egyptian scholars BTY refers to The House and is representative of the woman, because you cannot have a home without a woman. Bithya or Bithyah was the name of the Pharonic princess that adopted Moses.  She was the house of Yah as a princess of the Egyptian Pharaoh, the one that took Moses into his house. [See Moses]

The second letter in the Hebrew Alphabet is the Bet, b or the house with an open door.  This bet is blessing and creation, the house where LIFE lives. 

‘For he shall atone for himself and his house’ Lev. 16:6. 

This refers to the High priest on Yom Kippur the Day of Atonement, before he could atone for the sins of Israel ; he had to atone for himself and his wife. This means that the High Priest could not enter into the Holies of Holies to perform the Yom Kippur service unless he was married, because without a wife a man is not complete. In addition: in the Hebraic tradition: If a Rabbi could not find the answer to a question in Torah, then he was to ask his wife!   The Beth or house which represents the Hebrew woman is to hold court in the inner court (Holy of Holies) of her own chambers, which is her place and royal domain.  She is the House.   As Solomon says of his African mother:

‘Who can find a Virtuous (able) woman? For her price is far above Rubies!’ Proverbs 31:10

A word ruby is a misinterpretation, it is actually red or pink pearls found in the deepest part of the Mediterranean Sea .  A person would risk their life diving for these treasures. They were precious and rare, indeed. Just like an able black woman who would know the intimate, emotional, vulnerable parts of her husband and keep them secure, never exposing his weaknesses. We can expose the weaknesses of our husbands because we are angry or disappointed. But a real woman would not go to that extent.  The word in the KJV is virtuous, but the real Hebrew word is Able.  But, ability is virtuous isn’t it?

‘The heart of her husband does safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She works to bring him good, not harm, all the days of her life.’ Proverbs 31:11.


‘Her children rise up and call her blessed, and so does her husband.’

Proverbs 31:28

That is an able woman! Can a woman that is not the Blackman’s equal opposite, inspire him in the same manner? Can anyone but a sister help him to rule the world?

Answer for yourself:


We need divine direction in order to be the helping-Helpers in our relationships.  If not, we will be alone and miserable and destructive; even married without understanding our commission and direction from Yah.  We can become miserable and destructive, transferring that inordinate control over our sons and breeding daughters who do not understand the role of a Queen, as Bath-Sheba. We end up making all of them unhappy and unsuitable as mates, making boyish-men and Manish-women.

We have historically looked at Chavvah as just:  A mother, sex partner to Adam, the glorified maid, the one who brought darkness in the world by her sin, according to some medieval Rabbi’s and has to relight the way in the ritual of lighting the candles at Sabbath and the Feasts.   

But, her husband called her LIFE!   


The Ankh the symbol of [womb] Life

The woman was the first to be given the promise of bring the Messiah in the world in Genesis, the woman was the first to make the connection the Yahshua was Messiah, and the woman was the first to see him first at his resurrection. The KJV says ‘the Mother of all living’…but Adam said she is LIFE.  But, in ancient Africa, women could be Pharaohs, Queens and Rulers and pass on the matrilineal heritance.  We have been fed two concepts on the relationship between men and women by the modern European world.

When we understand the original truth of the man-woman unit we see the image of Yah walked the earth in the creation of The Adam. When we begin to understand Yah’s purpose and why any deviation from this purpose is called Sin, like homosexuality, bestiality, pedophilia, and narcissus (masturbation/self-love) and all of their corrupt forms.


When men and women are joined in marriage it is as a unit; and the Two must be brought together to form the ONE image and likeness of Yah the Creator.  


'Yah created mankind in his own image; in the image of Yah created he him; male and female he created them.’ Gen. 1:27

The Yin and Yang is a concept that tries to explain the intricacies of that union. The man and woman combination was the image of Yah, and in Him there was no darkness [evil or misunderstanding].  They were equal opposites. The male-Adam being the head of the unit and the female-Adam being the second in command. I will go into that in another essay.  But suffice it to say, when understood properly this combination and the hierarchy of Male/Female does work well. I will be writing on what the Aramaic says about the Word [YahShua], and man and woman created in the Image of Yahweh, look for that coming soon.


Take your right hand and place it palm side down then place your left hand over your right hand palm down.  The thumbs should be on opposite sides of one another but all the other fingers should be line up on top of another.  They are the same hands, side by side with each thumb touching the other, but when placed in the above manner they become equal opposites.  That is man and woman…or better that was Ish and Isha, the ones that are equal and a compliment and not adversarial to one another. 


A minister once told me that in Hebrew, when the word Ish that is the word for man, and Isha the word for woman are fused together; in the center of the new word is the name of God/Yah. Yah is represented by the h or Hey.  When the h is removed from the conglomerate a name, a new word is formed, FIRE, a consuming fire, similar to a Holocaust, this is the consuming fire of a Sacrifice.   Man and Woman without God will consume one another, like a Fire, and there will be nothing left but ash…a useless pile of ashes.  The singular Hebrew word for Man is Ish or Esh and the singular word for the woman is Isha or Esha.  The word for the human unity created initially by Yah was Adam in Hebrew, Adem in Amharic and several other Hebraic or Canaanite languages, I have even seen the name Yam or Atum used to represent man or the deified man by the Egyptians and Ethiopians.


When the word says that Ish KNEW his wife, Isha, it was as though there was a mystery inherent in this type of KNOWING.  The mystery is revealed in Yahshua.  It was more than procreation.  It was a supernatural intimacy that goes farther than sex and is far above a 'Quickie' or "One Night stand or Booty Call! 

To Know and to be Known is divine and spiritual.

 Ephesians 5:23 - ‘For the husband is the head of the wife, as Messiah is the head of the ecclesia and he is the savior of the body (of Messiah). Therefore as the ecclesia is subject unto Messiah, so let the wives be subject to their own husband in everything. Husbands love your wives, even as Messiah loves the ecclesia, and gave himself for it (the ecclesia); That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the water by the word. That he present to himself a glorious ecclesia not having a spot (sacrifice) or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be Kodesh and without blemish. "

Note: The Greek word Ecclesia is the church. The Hebrew word should be the assembly of the called-out believers.

"For we are member of his body, of his flesh and of his bones…this is a great mystery, I speak concerning Messiah and the ecclesia.

What are the spots, wrinkles and blemishes and to what do they relate? 

Now look at what he is saying. This is interesting.

Now, remember, earlier when the High Priest had to first atone for himself and his WIFE (house) before he could go in and atone for the sins of all Israel before Yah.  Well, here is another reference to the High Priest and the breastplate he wore that represented the 12 tribes.  The man is to have his wife like the jewels on a breastplate!

A symbol of complete truth – the woman was to be the truth of the man. 


I have always believed that a woman will magnify what a man gives her especially himself.    She is the producer.  You give us the sperm and we produce a child, you give us a harsh words and we give you are harsh life, you neglect us and that neglect will produce a neglected world.  When you make us a whore then we will teach the whole world to be whores.  You see that coming out of the T.V screen everyday.  Women have been turned into wholesale whores.

These spots, wrinkles and blemishes are related to the Temple and the sacrifice and the roll of the high priest in atonement.  All of it point to the appointed times of Yah.  These times and seasons were instituted for fellowship, forgiveness, atonement, healing, prosperity, obedience, worship, and family/nation building and finally as a shadow of the joys to come.  

They speak of the breastplate of the high priest and the truth -Emet or the Egyptian Maat (who is represented by a female, like the Greek Sophia used in the New Testament) and integrity it took to be the perfect one as Yahshua is to us.   The wife to a man is like the vestures that a priest wears, a necessary part of the sacrifice and his holiness.  The priest bears the proof of the generations of the nations upon his chest. The man in the Judeo-Christian format is the high priest of his home presenting an unblemished, spotless, wrinkle free jewel of a woman who is able to be fully the Avar-Avar!   Just as Messiah is to present the Ekklesia to Yah. In this mystery the Ecclesia is the flesh, body and bone of Messiah. In the same sense the woman represents the flesh body and bone of her husband.  The two shall be one flesh…again.


"Clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come. When she opens her mouth, she speaks wisely; on her tongue is loving instruction.  She watches over things in her house, not eating the bread of idleness…many woman have done wonderful things, but you surpass them all.  Charm can lie, beauty can vanish, but a woman who fears Yah, should be praised.  Give her a share in what she produces; let her works speak her praises at the city gates.’ Proverbs 31

"A man's mind is elevated to the status of the women with whom he associates."
~Alexander Dumas~








Edited by: Dr. K. Echengi Limbere




Wisdom of the Hebrew Alphabet – Munk

Encyclopedia Britannica

Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary Strong Exhaustive Concordance

Encarta - 2002

Numbers in Scripture - Bullinger

Newsweek Magazine – March 2003

  [Table of Contents]



"He who finds a wife finds the GOOD...thing."



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